Sex, Pleasure, and Your Pelvic Floor Health
A while back I made a short video for Instagram discussing a theory I have about peeing after sex and UTI risk. To sum it up quickly: although the trick of preventing a UTI by peeing after sex may have truth to it, I think more women experience urinary urgency due to lack of climax leading to increase pelvic floor muscle tension. Let’s talk it!
Unfortunately, I think it is common that many women do not experience pleasure during sex. As a pelvic floor PT, I meet many women who not only do not experience pleasure, but actually have pain. This leads to unpleasant sexual experiences or even avoidance of sex altogether! Sex and intimacy is an important part of a relationship so an unfulfilling sex life can add a lot of stress to a relationship. My role as a pelvic floor PT focuses on addressing pain in order to allow for a more pleasant experience.
Many women are taught that pain is a normal part of sex or that their pleasure is not as important as their partner which is not true! Increased muscle tone of the pelvic floor muscles can cause pain with vaginal penetration which is called dyspareunia. Some experience superficial dyspareunia which is during initial penetration, others experience deep dyspareunia such as with certain positions, and some women experience both. Addressing the causes of an overactive pelvic floor can improve tolerance to vaginal penetration, whether it is a tampon, a sex toy, or your partner.
Signs of an overactive pelvic floor include dyspareunia, urinary urgency, urinary frequency, lower abdominal pain, and/or low back pain to name a few. In addition to working with a pelvic floor PT to address the causes of your pelvic floor tension, climaxing during a sexual experience is another way to relax your pelvic floor. During an orgasm the muscles of the pelvic floor contract stronger and more frequently until there is a release and sensation of pleasure. The issue is, if you do not climax your pelvic floor muscles are left in a state of contraction which can increase some of the symptoms I listed above. How do we solve this issue? Here is what I suggest. First of all, having good communication with your sexual partner on what does and does not feel good is essential. If you do not know what you like or works for you, how will your partner know? Self-pleasure is a great way to explore your body and learn what you like. Whether or not you are in a relationship, self-pleasure is a good way to regularly climax. Self-pleasure can be used to supplement your sex life or integrated into your sexual relationship. Foreplay prior to vaginal penetration is another important part of a sexual experience, especially if penetration is part of it. Foreplay increases mental and physical arousal in order to prepare for penetration. The more prepared you are mentally and physically, the more comfortable the experience will be for you!
The truth is, some sexual experiences are more pleasurable than others. If for whatever reason you do not climax with a partner, you should try to relax your pelvic floor. Self-pleasure or using a toy with your partner is one way. Peeing after sex is another way to relax your pelvic floor because peeing and pooping is one of the only times your pelvic floor fully relaxes. In pelvic floor PT, you can learn techniques and exercises to reduce pelvic floor muscle tone. I recommend using these techniques before, during, and after sex as needed in order to improve your overall experience during sex.